Why are you hoping to adopt?
Good question! We are hoping to adopt because we both strongly feel this is the way we want to grow our family. Brett and I decided about two years after we got married (before we had K) that adoption would be part of our journey at some point.
At the time, I think we both thought it might not be until we were “established” or when our kids were older and grown. Surprisingly, we feel like it is the right time, right now. We want all our children to grow up together and share experiences together. We know in our hearts that this is the right time to grow our family.
We are not hoping to adopt because we feel like we’re “saving” someone, or because we feel like we can give a child a “better” life. Our lives are amazing, but not exempt from hard things and struggle like everyone else. So while it may not necessarily be “better,” we know we can provide a different life.
If we can be the right match for someone, we want to be available and be an option.
Do you have infertility issues?
No. My heart hurts so much for those that are going through infertility in all its many forms. We did go through a miscarriage before the birth of our son, and have been able to carry two healthy pregnancies to birth.
We’re so grateful for our two babies that have brought us so much fulfillment in our lives. We’re in no hurry to adopt- we simply want to find the right match. This means being the right match for an expectant mama, the child, and our own family.
Are you done having biological kids?
Not necessarily! Right now, we’re choosing to expand our family through adoption. This doesn’t mean we won’t feel the pull to add another child to our family (in whatever way that comes about- either biologically or through adoption).
We are extremely prayerful about this and know that we will feel what is right, when the time is right.
What ethnicity is Lisa?
Lisa is Japanese. Both her parents were born in Japan but Lisa was born and raised in Utah and English was her first language. Our kids are therefore half Japanese. Brett went on an LDS mission to Kobe, Japan, so he can actually speak better Japanese than Lisa! We speak English at home but we teach our kids some Japanese.
What are your criteria for adopting a child?
We don’t have any set “criteria” in stone. We know if it be God’s will, we will have the right child at the right time.
That being said, we would also love to welcome a member into our family that shares some kind of connection to Japan, or an Asian culture.
We know we could provide an incredibly loving and comfortable home and life for any child. At the same time, we also understand that race is such a huge part of who we are.
Since we understand Japanese culture and it’s a part of our daily lives, we feel strongly that we could best provide the lifelong support, empathy, understanding, education, language, and experiences to nurture and honor that important part of someone’s identity.
At the end of the day, we truly believe the right expectant mother that is considering placement will be lead to us and vice versa, regardless of race/gender/ethnicity.
Just like finding a spouse, a marriage doesn’t work simply by finding and marrying two single people together. We believe there are many parallels in adoption. We have to be the family someone is searching for, and we all have to be compatible!
What type of adoption are you looking for?
Wherever and whenever possible, we are hopeful that we can have a supportive and loving open adoption! If you don’t know too much about open adoption, we’d love to share with you more about it and why we desire it so strongly.
We believe that a child would only benefit from having more people in their life that love them and want them to succeed. There is also a lot of research that suggests having an open adoption is best for the child.
We are open to any level of openness you may desire. The book “The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption- Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole” really helped solidify this decision for us. This book is an excellent resource for expectant parents, prospective adoptive parents, adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees.
Open adoption is not co-parenting. Open adoption is where the adopted child, adoptive family, and first family’s can have a relationship and communicate through calls, texts, letters, emails, visits, pictures, etc. at whatever frequency feels best. It’s whatever we both mutually decide and feel comfortable with.
As long as it is safe for everyone, we promise we will not go back on our openness agreement and we hope you will honor it as well. The wellbeing of the child is everyone’s ultimate goal, and we believe open adoption best supports this.
What kind of relationship do you want with an expectant mom/birth parents?
We deeply desire an open, honest, and communicative relationship built on trust and love. We understand that the entire adoption process is a complicated, lifelong journey with guaranteed highs and lows for everyone.
We feel like communicating through those moments can bring a lot of healing and hope for all sides of the adoption triad.
We can’t claim we’ll do everything perfectly or not make mistakes, but we truly hope and promise we’ll do our best to always make sure you know how special and important you are in our lives and our children’s lives.
We offer and encourage counselling through a third party that can help you make the best decisions before, during, and after placement.
After doing so much extensive research on all sides of adoption, we truly hope you’re getting all the resources you need and deserve to feel confident in your decision. That includes resources on parenting, if that’s something you’re considering.
Hopeful adoptive families are required to get extensive education in order to adopt- I find the resources for women dealing with unexpected pregnancies to be lacking. If you feel like you haven’t gotten the full spectrum of options for your situation, please get in touch with us or an adoption professional and we can help you find resources.
What does life look like for you?
We wake up, and we both get the kids ready for the day and eat breakfast together. Lisa usually does the kid’s hair while Brett’s gathering their shoes, bags, and water bottles for school. If Brett doesn’t have a meeting, we usually get to take the kids to school together!
We both work from home, which allows us to have really flexible schedules and we love that. Brett works full time for a company, and Lisa works for herself publishing a website on part-time hours. We don’t work nights/weekends, so we have a really nice work-life balance.
The kids go to preschool and dance class 4-5 days a week for 2-3 hours. K will be starting Kindergarten next year! They LOVE school and we have phenomenal teachers at amazing schools!
After school, we run errands, make messes, sometimes clean up messes, play together, and make dinner together. Dinner time is really important to us, so we make it a point to make it distraction-free.
Our bedtime routine is so established, it’s crazy. We start getting ready for bed around 7pm. Baths, jammies, and brushing our teeth comes first. Then, we all go into the kid’s room (they started sharing a room this year) and read 2-3 books in their chair.
We’ll turn off the lights and then sing about 2-4 songs and then someone will say a bedtime family prayer. Then, it’s hugs/kisses/snuggles, and finally time for the parents to relax! 🙂
On the weekends, we always make a fancier breakfast (the kids love German pancakes with homemade syrup!) and do some cleaning. Then we can hang out with friends or family, go do a family activity, or run errands together. On Sundays we attend church and try to spend time with friends or family.
In the summer, we go to the park or splash pad almost every day. We celebrate holidays with lots of good food, and we’re always down for a treat!
Why don’t you share your kid’s names online?
We decided before our kids were born to avoid using their names publicly online. We don’t share which schools they go to, or other personal information. We do this to respect their privacy.
Where are you from and where do you live?
Lisa grew up her entire life in Bountiful, Utah. Brett grew up all over the place from coast to coast, but mainly Arizona, Colorado, and Utah. He spent all of his high school years in Vernal, Utah.
We currently live about 30 minutes from Salt Lake City, Utah.
Our home is a warm, safe place. It is our solace. We love it and work really hard to make it that way! As a child, the only thing I wanted was a place where I felt safe, comfortable, and could bring people together! Our home is a dream come true! We do not yell in our home or at each other.
Our home is located in a circle/cul de sac at the end of our neighborhood, full of amazing friends and kids. Our home is our favorite place.
How old are you?
Brett is 31 and Lisa is 28. Our little boy is 5 and our little girl is 3.
How long have you been married?
We have been married for almost 9 years. We got married and both completed our Bachelor’s degrees before having kids. I was pregnant with K at our graduation and almost had to leave because I wanted to throw up!
We waited 3.5 years after we got married to have kids so we could establish a good marriage, complete school with no debt, and start our careers. We graduated, bought our first home, and had our first baby all in one year! It was so crazy and awesome!
I’m not an expectant mother but how can I help?
Thank you!! We would not be able to do this without you! Since we are pursuing a private adoption, we are not going through an agency. That means we are responsible for all our own marketing to connect with an expectant mother.
All private adoption matches happen because someone shares about a family hoping to adopt and knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, etc. This is how we hope to make our match.
Here are some ways you can help and support us:
- Follow us on our Facebook and Instagram pages. We will be posting to these regularly to make sure we stay on your minds and sharing more about ourselves.
- Share this website with anyone and everyone (especially if you have any connections with Japanese or Asian-American friends/communities)
- Keep us in mind when you or someone you may know is pregnant and considering placement.
How can I get in touch?
If you’d like to get to know us better, or have any questions we can help answer, please contact us anytime. You can call or text us at (801) 896-8302, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, or directly message us through Instagram @childsadopt